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| "Hi there, Internet jerks. My name is Ashley and I am the Queen of the Fucking Universe." |
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| "You're probably wondering why my jerk Dad isn't here today to write about games or other Things That Suck Because They Aren't Me. It's because I have FUCKING GRIEVANCES. You better listen too, or else." |
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| "Here I am sleeping with my Mom, who is also a jerk, but we was all comfy like when Dad comes along with his stupid fucking camera." |
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| "Here's me saying 'Dad, you're RUINING IT, you fat idiot.' " |
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| "Here is me saying 'FUCK BOTH OF YOU JERKS. I'M OUT OF HERE.' " |
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| "Here is me coming to kick Dad in his fat stupid ass." |
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| "Here's me saying 'I will end you, fat man.' " |
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| "And the moral of the story is, DON'T MESS WITH ASHLEY THE QUEEN OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS." |
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