Saturday 22 June 2013

Oh to Live On Strawberry Mountain...

GREETINGS, MORTAL WORMS.

I AM MITHRAS, VAMPIRE LORD OF LONDINIUM AND SOON THE MASTER OF THE WORLD ENTIRE.

YOU MAY COWER BEFORE ME.

MITHRAS IS POWER INCARNATE, AND ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM ARE REDUCED TO WEEPING BEFORE THEY ARE UTTERLY OBLITERATED.

YET I AM NOT ABOVE VISITING PETTY TORMENTS UPON YOU WORTHLESS HUMAN KINE FOR -- WHAT IS THE VERNACULAR? -- SHITS AND GIGGLES.


BEHOLD THE PETTY HUMAN ESTABLISHMENT WHERE OTHERS OF YOUR KIND GO TO DROWN THEIR FEARS OF MY POWER IN PILES OF FATTY BACON AND PIECE AFTER PIECE OF PIE.

FOOLISH MORTALS! HASH BROWNS CANNOT SAVE YOU!


HERE IS THE SPECIAL THAT THIS DEN OF FEARFUL HUMAN KINE DROWNED THEIR SORROWS IN THIS DAY. THEY CALL IT THE "STRAWBERRY MOUNTAIN". BAH, MORE OF A STRAWBERRY TOMB.

MITHRAS FEARS NOT ITS HEIGHTS OF CREAMY TOPPING DRIZZLED WITH STRAWBERRY SAUCE NOT UNLIKE THE SPILLED BLOOD OF YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN RABBLE.


THIS HUMAN FOOL THINKS SHE HAS THE FORTITUDE TO FACE MITHRAS IN A BATTLE OF FORK AND KNIFE.

MITHRAS WAS EATING BUFFETS OUT OF BUSINESS BEFORE YOUR ANCESTORS CROSSED THE OCEANS!


AND IT DOES LOOK LIKE A TASTY CHALLENGE...

WENCH! KEEP THE COFFEE FLAGON FILLED! MITHRAS DEMANDS IT!


HA HA HA HA!!! ONCE AGAIN, MITHRAS HAS TRIUMPHED!

MITHRAS IS A LITTLE SLEEPY, NOW, IT IS TRUE...


YET YOUR MEWLING HUMAN CHAMPION COULD NOT CONQUER THE TOWER OF BUTTERMILK PANCAKES, BROWN SUGAR, CREAM AND STRAWBERRIES. POOR FOOL! BEATEN AGAIN BY THE LORD OF DARKNESS!


YET THE FOOL IS INSOLENT! SHE WILL BE DESTROYED.

...PERHAPS AFTER MITHRAS HAS HAD TIME TO TAKE A LITTLE NAP.

I AM MITHRAS! ALL WILL KNEEL BEFORE ME OR BE DESTROYED!!!

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